I run full speed, keeping my eye on the price- you
The only reason my eyes dart towards the ground is to not trip over the dirt, destroyed branches, and the path.
It is a hunt. I am a hunter- I don’t mind because I know I’ll catch you
You are but a woman, a woman out of shape, a woman in absolute fear for her life.
I laugh at the thought of holding your destiny in my hands
I pick up the pace and I hear your heavy breathing, yet you don’t scream
Why don’t you scream? Right, no one would hear you in this New England forest
The hunt has just begun, yet I’m sure it feels like hours for you
Some may call me insane, but insanity is just a feeling not a fact
I approach your trembling figure, dodging the rugged path before you
Mother Earth has not been on your side, God has not been on your side- I am absolutely not on your side
I reach and pull your shoulder length hair to snap your neck backwards- You still do not scream
This makes me roll my deep brown eyes, I want to make you scream, I want to make you come from fear and remember me who stole the rest of your life.
That is what this is, a theft.
We are deep in the woods now, deeper than I had ever been before. I feel a surge of adrenaline as if I am skydiving or watching a horror movie. I am watching a horror movie, my own televised version of the truth
I now have your body between my legs. I smile because I know the adrenaline I feel will soon come to a peaceful calm sense that will lull me to sleep instantly with blood still on my hands.
I don’t want to be inside of you, my main goal is to disfigure you.
I pull down your pants quickly; there are real hunters out here, hunters that hunt animals
I must be careful that I don’t make you scream- yet you’ve been so good so far.
Your black eyes look at me, not in fear but in defeat. You are tired and have accepted your fate. I’m not satisfied; I need you to struggle for your life.
Don’t give up- I say, Please don’t give up. She is puzzled, as she should be, here is a man that she’s grown to trust, straddling her with hungry eyes, I advise her that once this is over she will be with all the ones she once loved and never thought she’d see again. She doesn’t beg, she doesn’t move an inch. She stares into my eyes. “I love you” is all she says
This excites me, murder and love go hand and hand, I don’t need a struggle I need love.
I carefully remove the scalpel from my pocket and begin to carve away everything that you have used to get what you want; everything that you have used to hurt people like me
This time, a scream of agony escapes your throat. I don’t silence you, I quite like it
I am fearful you will tell, you know who I am- I am your psychiatrist. After listening to you over the years, it’s imperative that I help you. I’ve grown quite fond of you. But your womanhood is destroying you. I must take corrective measures. Instinctively, I bash your head against the rock beside us. Your eyes are open, tears streaming down your face. This time when I pick up the rock, your skull finally caves in- you’re innocent look never to be the same again.
So- why would you want to live like that, you are completely disfigured; hopefully never to fool another with your charm and the games. So, I take off your scarf, which your mother bought you, and I press down on your face and smother you madly. You struggle slightly but I knew that you were dead as soon as you walked into my office. There was never anything behind those eyes, no one loved you, and no one will miss you.
I won’t even charge you a co-pay for this session- that’s how dedicated I am to you. This is the most selfless act I’ve ever done. And it feels wonderful